Welcome to Cobb County, Braves fans!

The Office has obtained internal documents detailing blockbuster promotional plans for inaugurating SunTrust Park on the outskirts of Smyrna. We used the Freedom of Made-up Information Act to get our hands on this gold. A few highlights: Fergit Hell Night! In the shadow of Kennesaw Mountain, Confederate reenactors and belles in hoop skirts will cavort […]

Read More Welcome to Cobb County, Braves fans!

Duane’s Harang Harangue

First off, I didn’t know there was a word that’s the same as Big Ol Hangdog Harang’s last name. Headline writers. Bunch of pointy-headed dorks. Speaking of loser nerds, I see where the so-called sabre math geeks are crapping all over my boy Aaron Harang. Gives up too many fly balls, their computers tell em. […]

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Duane is in crisis

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. Where in the hell do I start? OK. The Braves took a jackhammer to my heart and soul again. And I’m so confused and hurt and angry. I’m angry at Frede and the team, and I think I’m even angrier at the media and other people who are angry and downing my […]

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Duane checks in

I see where Mr. Frank Spin, um I mean Wren, is telling Mark Bradford from the local outlet that everything is just fine. Might be the best team he’s put together. One question for Mr. Spin. Has he watched the first two ballgames? Yo, Frank. We’re 0-2, big man. Made a shitpot of errors yesterday […]

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A chat with former Brave Lonnie Smith

World Net Daily recently published a fawning piece on the persecuted ex-Brave John Rocker. In the article, the former closer shares his views on subjects such as immigration reform, the national debt and the general direction of the country. We also learn that Rocker was banished from baseball because that Sports Illustrated writer tricked him […]

Read More A chat with former Brave Lonnie Smith

Big win today

Yeah, I know. I can hear all y’all smart fellas now. “Come on, now, Duane, it’s just spring training. They ain’t even really trying to win. The capital of Iran and Of the Cat are just kids. Couple of bad innings. Wind was blowing out. Blah. blah, freakin blah.” Any of y’all ever strapped it […]

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Future Braves promotions

1. Bill Campbell/Munson Steed Olympic Street Vending Night. Remember during the 1996 Games, when our disgraced former mayor gave his pal a sweetheart deal to turn downtown into a giant flea market just in time for the whole world to see it? I loved the Olympics overall. It was a hell of a lot of […]

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It’s that time again!!

Hey, fellas, and gals. Is there a form of fella to apply to the ladies? I really don’t know. My name is Hal Phellis. I’m new to this webloggin’ thing, so you guys bear with me, OK?:) First thing you need to know about me is I love my Bravos!!!! (PS I always say Bravos because it’s fun!) […]

Read More It’s that time again!!