I remember that sumbitch, Peter McNelley. I fell for his little rhyme about “I’m Peter McNeeley from Boston, Mass. I’m gonna kick Mike Tyson’s ass.”
Yeah. Bout like I’m going to be CEO of Apple Computers.
Anyhow, I put enough money on that little Boston bitch in that fight that I got my pickup repossessed. It wasn’t the first or last time I had a truck repod. But still. It hurt. Hurt bad. I’ve hated anything out of Boston ever since. Thanks for Mike Ducockus, Massapussies!
Speaking of weird people, my boss, Dorian — he’s the pet undertaker wears a bow tie, real fussy type — he tells me he has family in Massatusas. But Dorian don’t care for sports. Says he don’t own a TV set. Reads, listens to classical music and spends time with his Pomeranian, Judy Garland, and his “companion,” Herbert. Whatever. He said he has “neither the time nor the inclination to engage in conversation” about the Braves and the Boston dip shits. Truth is, though, Dorian treats me pretty good, I have to say. Caught me smoking a J out at the picnic table the other day and pretty much just looked the other way.
Which brings me to our beloved Bravos. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. One for each game of this series, which we’ve all but give away with crappy defense and boneheaded two-strike pitching. It’s time to get this ship back on track, or something. Freddie Freeman, we ain’t paying you all that money to not knock in runs with the bases loaded in the biggest game of the year. As of last night. Now, tonight is a MUST win. Early? It’s never early, compadres. The Braves gotta make a statement and they gotta make it tonight. Enough getting pushed around up there in front of the Damn Kennedys and all their panty waist friends.
Freddie, you gotta do something tonight. Gattis, stop a damn ball in the dirt for once. Mike Minor must shine. If he struggles early, Fredi needs to bring in Teheran. For the love of Vic Fuckin Correll, we gotta have this one, people.
The lineup: Heyward RF, BUpton CF, Freeman 1B, JUpton LF, Gattis C, Johnson 3B, Doumit DH, La Stella 2B, Simmons SS.