Open Thread, 5/13, #Braves vs. Tucker Carlsons

Conventional baseball wisdom says the Braves will start scoring runs. The clutch hits will fall.

Will they? When?

At best, this team is slump prone, to say the least. The Braves strike out a ton. The only offensive category in which they are better than league average is home runs. They don’t get on base. They don’t walk. They don’t hit behind runners. They can’t bunt. The club is 14th (of 15 NL teams) in batting average; last in hits; 14th in runs/game; 13th in walks; 14th in OBP; 13th in OPS; 14th in doubles. No point going on. It’s ugly.

If a team-wide slump lasts a month and a half, maybe it isn’t a slump. Maybe this is the Braves’ offense. That’s a sobering thought.

Meanwhile, of course, the team is at the top of the league in virtually every pitching category. I wonder if there has ever been a team with such a dichotomy between the offense and the pitching. I can’t recall a Braves team this dichotomous. (Yep. It’s a word. In your face, Tom Teepen.)

Anyway, the somnolent Braves’ attack has CB and me wondering how the team will fare over the brutal stretch of the schedule that began yesterday. (Colorado, St. Louis, Milwaukee, and Boston loom.) Could this offense conceivably do anything even if it did make the playoffs? Hard to imagine it. So for the long-term good of the team, might it be better if they fall out of contention and could then move a marketable player or two to acquire some young hitters who can get on base? If he’s still pitching well, Floyd might be a valuable chip at the trade deadline. Same for Santana, but we’d like to keep him if it’s doable. Maybe you move J-Up? Do you dare consider trading Heyward if it comes to it? He’d probably fetch a decent return, unless he’s still flirting with the Mendoza Line.

That sort of talk should be for another, darker day, a few weeks away. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. For now, I’ll be happy if the Bravos can escape Frisco without being swept. In tonight’s tilt, it’d sure be good to see Minor throw well after the Cardinals roughed him up last time out. The enemy hurler Vogelsong is no Juan Marichal. Then again, neither is Lincecum anymore, and we know what happened last night.

Lineup: to come J-Hey, J. Upton, Freeman, Gattis, CJ, BJ, Simmons, Minor, Pastornicky.

* The douchey George Will wannabe Carlson is a San Francisco native.

12 Comments Add yours

  1. jon3068 says:

    The 2010 Braves team had some pretty uninspired hitting. I guess they weren’t as “dichotomous” because their starting pitching wasn’t anything special either. (thanks for the memories, Kenshin and Derek!)

    It’s pretty amazing what a team can do when their bullpen is lights-out like that

  2. Salazr2 says:

    Cutting Uggla is the solution to our offensive woes.

    It would show the rest of the position players the front office is serious about winning no matter the cost. Imagine how the players have to feel carrying that boat anchor anyway.

    We need to make the logical move before we talk about trading productive players that still have upside.

  3. pepefreeus says:

    The other logical move is to get a coaching staff that has an idea about how to get the offense going.

    Before the season, you had everyone on the move within a year or two. Now you want to have a fire sale and chuck the season. This is your blog and you can run it how you see fit but I doubt I’m the only regular who is weary of the incessant negativity.

  4. roadrunner48 says:

    The ’73 team had all hitting and no pitching; the ’74 team was the opposite. Those were the two most lopsided teams I can remember leading up to this year.

    Yes, there’s been a lot of gloom and doom. That being said, thanks for keeping the blog going.

  5. jon3068 says:

    You’d think the Braves weren’t in first place by a game and a half. 😀

  6. Good Lord, Pepe, overreact much? Maybe you should read Charlesad’s entire post, which concluded:

    That sort of talk should be for another, darker day, a few weeks away. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. …

    But it very well might because this team can’t hit. If you’d rather us echo the party line and tell you how wonderful things are in Braves country listen to Jim Powell or Chip. (By the way, your comment about the coaching staff was a little negative, was it not).

    And yes, before the season we did have everyone on the move. We weren’t the only ones. The Braves surprised us then. Hopefully they’ll surprise us again.

    We (okay, me) also called Ryan Langerhans the next Paul O’Neill.

    When you’re providing fresh content almost every day for 9 years, you sometimes overreact. When the Braves win 9 in a row we’re thinking world championship. When they play like this we’re thinking the worst.

    So take it with a grain of salt. Or start your own blog.

  7. From last night’s OT:

    “Honestly I think the Braves are going to bust out in a big way. Tim Lincecum has been mostly horrible, posting a 5.55 ERA, and with CJ starting to round into form out the Braves line-up isn’t so thin at the bottom.”

    So much for blind optimism.

  8. charlesad says:

    Pepe, keep reading and commenting. We get a little down now and then, but we’re fans. It’s what we do. I hope like hell the Brave win every night. And we are in first place. It just doesn’t feel like it.

  9. Tokyokie says:

    I notice that you put Robin Williams’ photo on the day’s entry, and the next day his TV show is cancelled. Perhaps you should try posting opposing starting pitchers’ photos and seeing whether your powers are profound enough to fix the Braves’ offense.

  10. If only we had that power. Not sure what’s more disturbing — the Braves’ offense or the fact Robin Williams had a TV show. I’m sure it was understated and never dated.

  11. charlesad says:

    Braves win without a homer and Minor is back on the beam. Life is good. Let’s take two of three this afternoon.

  12. the real big cat says:

    it’s like when i’m whuppin the hell outta dirty rhodes or some other egg sucker and then chief wahoo macdaniels comes runnin in to save him and i got to hightail it outta there. the tables can turn mighty fast.

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