The Braves’ offense has been downright offensive! Runs have been as scarce as sober nights with Charlie Sheen! Clutch hits are as hard to come by as understatement on the Real Housewives of Atlanta!
Enough of the Rick Reilly impersonation.
A few not so fun facts:
No Braves regular has a hit with a runner in scoring position and two outs. Teheran has the only one in 23 at-bats (.043 BA).
With RISP, the club is hitting .159.
Julio has as many RBIs — 1 — as Justin, BJ and Gattis combined.
Take away Freeman (.517 OBP) and the team OBP is .224.
Gattis, BJ and — surprisingly — Uggla have no walks among them.
The good news is the pitching has been superb, and 155 games remain. Those start tonight, of course, as the local batsmen take their cuts against Smyrna native Zack Wheeler. He can hurl a baseball at a high rate of speed. He faced the Braves thrice last season and allowed six earned runs, including his big league debut when he blanked the home nine over six innings.
More interestingly for us, our new man Ervin Santana toes the slab for the first time as a Bravo. No Met has more than four at-bats against him, despite his 1,600-plus innings of MLB work. It sure would be nice to welcome him with a few runs. But we probably should not count on such a thing.
Lineup a little different: J-Hey, Simmons, Freeman, CJ, Justin, Uggla, Gattis, Schafer, Santana.
* Phoebe Cates is a terrible actress who has done nothing of note since Fast Times at Ridgemont High, which came out when I was in high school, and I remember Rowland Office.