The best of JD Drew’s offseason diary

I wish I was in Hahira
I wish I was in Hahira

Hey fellow Christians, it’s ol’ JD. Been awhile, I know, but as you can imagine I’ve been resting up from that long season. Boy I tell ya, 109 games sure is a lot.

I slept for about two weeks, then slowly worked my way into the normal routine — goin’ to Bass Pro Shop with Stephen and Tim, lunch at the new Golden Corral off 122, nap, listen to Sean Hannity, dinner, bed.

Like you I’m real worried about this Obamo fella. Mr. Scott says he’s gonna be taking more of our money, and that ain’t right. What’s more, it ain’t Christian, but what do you expect from an Islam?

Anyway, if that’s the case, Ol’ JD better get a raise. I mean, if I have to pay more taxes, I’m earning less money and the team should make up for that, right? Where’s JD’s bailout?

I’m still waiting to hear back on that from Mr. Scott. Things is kinda tense with him right now. He’s got this T. Share fella out there asking for $200 mil, which is a lot more than ol’ JD makes. Tim says he should be trying to get me that much money, too, especially with all the leverage I’ve got. You know, after saving the team with my hit against the Buccaneers in overtime.

The fans really like me now, but ol’ JD don’t forget how they booed him last year. Goes to show you how us Christians are persecuted in these times, which I like to call the end times.

You can learn all about it in Revolution. We been reading up on it in Bible Study, though I miss some classes ’cause I’m still plum tired.

Well, my fingers are cramping up real bad, and I think I’m developing flebitis and maybe a little gout. Time for a nap.

Yours in Christ,
Ol’ JD

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9 comments

  1. J.D.’s an easy target and he lacks intensity. But don’t forget his year in Atlanta was easily the best of his career. Highest on-base, slugging, and OPS. Most homers, hits, runs, and at-bats. Second msot games and RBI.

  2. As I’ve said before, he’s the Bizarro Reggie Sanders.

    Reggie is, by all acounts, a nice fellow and was a solid, occasionally spectacular player. He came here for one year and had the worst season of his career.

    J.D. is a lazy dope who played like Mickey Mantle his one year here. (Unfortunately, his bat turned into a pumpkin on Oct. 1)

  3. I’ll always remember him banging his head on the dugout roof, taking stitches and missing a couple of games.

  4. “Contrived” is exactly what the Yankees were this year. That bullshit with the shaving cream from that asswipe Burnett (thank God we didn’t sign that douche) got old in @ 3 days.

  5. I typically enjoy the posts you guys have and almost always agree with your opinions. This post is an exception.

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