The best thing you’ll read all day

Last night, for the first time in 95 years, the Boston Red Sox won the World Series at home in Fenway Park. Fuck the city of Boston, in general.

Boston is not a good city.

Fuck the Boston Red Sox. Fuck your dirty beards. Fuck your scrappy-band-of-sailors persona. Fuck your iconic little ballpark. Fuck the big green wall in your outfield. Fuck the people wearing Red Sox hats, particularly pink ones. Fuck your undeserved underdog attitude. Fuck your celebrity fans. Fuck your regular fans. Fuck your riotous celebrations.

Fuck all of New England. But in particular, Boston.

It goes on like this, and it’s fucking brilliant.

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5 Comments on The best thing you’ll read all day

  1. Jack Straw // November 1, 2013 at 8:44 am //

    That made my day.

  2. Geez, what don’t you like about a bunch of scrappy, roid-fueled underdogs that have only won three WS titles in the past nine years? Even White House spokesman Jay Carney likes ‘em and he was born in Washington D.C. and raised in New Jersey (odd, I don’t remember him doing that for SF last year….)

    http://www.gannett-cdn.com/-mm-/df507984ce13fe5e36050b5cc904d153f4b5858e/c=0-120-5000-3880&r=x404&c=534×401/local/-/media/USATODAY/theOval/2013/10/31/1383248430000-AP-Obama-009.jpg

  3. Yesterday in a class I’m taking, the instructor mentioned the World Series and said some people were complaining that the Bosox have a lot of bandwagon fans. And somebody in the back of the class, unironically, blurted, “Boston strong!”

    I don’t think he was intending to prove the instructor’s point.

  4. pepefreeus // November 1, 2013 at 4:21 pm //

    He probably thinks Dewey Evans is Donald Duck’s nephew.

  5. A-f*ckin’-men.

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