Future Braves promotions

1. Bill Campbell/Munson Steed Olympic Street Vending Night. Remember during the 1996 Games, when our disgraced former mayor gave his pal a sweetheart deal to turn downtown into a giant flea market just in time for the whole world to see it? I loved the Olympics overall. It was a hell of a lot of fun. But that street vending business was shameful. For this night, fans bearing their own airbrush T-shirt stand or wearing prison garb get in free.  

2. Wayne Williams night. Not sure what else to say here that wouldn’t be over the line even for us.

3. Lester Maddox night. Come celebrate that lovable segregationist who rode a bicycle backward across the Capitol lawn.

Carver and friends on Springer.

4. Sam Venable/Daniel Carver/Klan night. Venable used to own Stone Mountain and allowed the Ku Kluxers to gather there for years. Daniel Carver was — still is? — a Klan honcho from Gainesville who made several appearances as himself on Howard Stern’s Howiewood Squares. Come in robe and pointy hat and …ah on to the next one.

5. Stupid civic slogan night. Every day is an opening day was only the latest. I can’t seem to find any others right off hand, but there have been other lame marketing ditties by our town’s ever eager boosters.

6. Real estate developers almost always get their way night. Bring a mini wrecking ball and get in for half price, and destroy something old while you’re at it.     

7. Wear another team’s hat night. Combine this one with “Kick the shit out of fans wearing Boston caps night” and it could be a lot of fun.

8. Escaped Emory monkey night.

9. Pothole Posse night.

10. Smog and traffic night.

Bring some more.

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16 Comments on Future Braves promotions

  1. tbone82 // June 24, 2011 at 3:24 pm //

    #5: Everybody’s somebody at Turner Field… (coming from a current Snellville resident)

  2. Intrusive billboard night. Wear a really big hat, wig, etc. promoting some other product, blocking view of the field for those behind you.

  3. tbone82 // June 24, 2011 at 4:10 pm //

    Boy band demolition night

  4. PepeFreeUs // June 24, 2011 at 5:33 pm //

    Speaking of #7…I must say I got a bit of a kick from the spectacle of Wrigley Field having a 70-30 split between Yankee fans and homestanders a few days ago. A little dose of the Cubbies own medicine for them.

  5. the real big cat // June 24, 2011 at 7:16 pm //

    Remember Headlocks and Wedlocks, Office? Come to Climb in the Squared Circle with Me Night, and I’ll whup on you like I used to whup ol’ Dirty Rhodes.

  6. No Runaway Bride night? Or is that too minor league even for the Braves.

    If you’re going to have a “Kick the shit out of fans wearing Boston caps night” you may as well combine it with a “Kick the shit out of fans wearing Giants caps night”. They have an alliance you know.

  7. the real big cat // June 24, 2011 at 8:10 pm //

    Bring your Gram-mama, and I’ll whup her, too. Then you and that drunken Indian Wahoo MacDaniels can race around Buckhead.

  8. Jack Straw // June 24, 2011 at 9:05 pm //

    My Baby Done Got Shot Night. Bring your oldest child’s obituary from the AJC and get a free 16 oz beer.

  9. Tokyokie // June 24, 2011 at 10:41 pm //

    Hey, don’t go dissing Wahoo McDaniel! He played football for the Sooners! (OK, so despite being Native American, he was the main opponent to Prentice Gautt’s desegregation of the OU football team.) Anyway, Wahoo died of renal failure nine years ago.

    I just want to know whether the club will give away ax handles on Lester Maddox night.

  10. rankin' rob // June 25, 2011 at 7:58 am //

    Slap a Cubs fan upside the head night.

  11. Tokyokie // June 25, 2011 at 10:08 am //

    How about Wee Like a Pig Night? Ned Beatty could throw out the first pitch. Free banjos to first 10,000.

  12. College Football Night at Turner Field! Wear your favorite SEC football jersey!

  13. Thanks a lot, Wuky. I can totally see them adopt wear your favorite SEC jersey night, which I’d fucking hate.

    The Ted is one of the few refuges from the incessant blabber about who recruited which teenage boy, the worship/demonizing of soulless automatons like Nick Saban, romanticizing those days sitting in the hot sun, in a coat and tie, sharing cheap rum with some unattractive, uninteresting coed …

    Stay out of my baseball park, college football!

  14. Ernest P. Worrell Memorial Bobblehead Night.

  15. Could a Braves Kids reunion be far behind?

  16. How about a post-game “Maxie Swing” Dance Marathon? The Braves could also host a Life University Alumni Night with free Dr. Sid Williams chiropractic action figures to the first 35 fans.

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